My Wife, The Criminal

Okay, so I told you last week that my wife is part of the leadership team of a small group of teenage girls. They meet every Sunday night, eat dinner together, and then study God's word and share with each other about their lives. This meeting normally takes place at a leader's home that is about 5 or 6 miles from where we live. So far, so good, right?

Last night my wife calls me about 8:30. I assumed that she was just calling me to tell me that she was on her way home from her small group. I was half right - she was on her way home from her small group, but that was not why she was calling me. She was calling me to tell me that she was pulled over to the side of the road because behind her was the sight of those gut-wrenching, horrifying, make-you-want-to-throw-up red and blue lights flashing away. She'd been pulled over and wanted me to know two things: 1) She'd been pulled over and was flipping out and 2) She'd left her wallet and her driver's license in our child's diaper bag, which was at home.

My wife is from North Carolina, and so at this point there was this great temptation on my part to tell her that in Georgia driving without a license is a serious crime, and that they will immediately take you to jail because they cannot allow you to drive any further if you do not have your license, and that I was going to just meet her at the police station with bail money in hand... but I enjoy living too much, so I decided that was not the best idea.

Actually, I knew exactly why those red and blue lights were flashing behind my wife, but you'll need to read to the end of the story to find out why.

There are fewer worse feelings in the world than driving down the road and suddenly realizing that the police officer behind you wants you to pull over. All sorts of thoughts will race through your mind: "Was I speeding?" "Did I run a red light?" "Have those unpaid parking tickets finally caught up to me?" And in that eternal wait for the officer to get out of his car and come to your window, this sickening feeling grows from somewhere deep within your bowels and consumes your entire body, so that by the time he arrives at your window, all you can do is stutter the phrase, "I-i-i-s th-th-th-ere a pro-pro-pro-blem of-of-of-ficer?" The experience of being pulled over - the heart racing, the stomach acid rising, the full-body tension - is, to me, the picture of anxiety.

In my devotional time this morning I read some wise words written about 2000 years ago: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4:6) My first thought was, "Yeah, right." Life is always throwing at us things that cause us anxiety: the possibility of losing our jobs, a rebellious teenager, the mortgage payment, or even getting pulled over by a police officer on the way home from a Bible study. This advice, do not be anxious about anything, may sound good, but it sure is hard to apply to our lives, right?

The writer of this verse is not saying that it's an automatic deal. What he is saying is that the more we grow in our relationship to God, the more that we are able to turn over our problems and issues to this God Who is in complete control of all of life. What has you anxious today? Your job? Problems with your spouse? Health issues? Your battle against anxiety is best fought on your knees, growing closer to the God who is fully able to handle any problem that you dump in His lap today.

"License and registration please." "Um-m-m, of-of-officer. My license is in my diaper bag at home." "That's pretty bad, but I guess I've heard worse excuses." He got her information, went back to his car, and then came back and asked her to step outside the car. Remember, I'm on the other end of the phone through this whole deal.

"Is this your car or your husband's car?" "Both of ours." "I think we need to blame this on your husband, then. You've got a tail light out that you need to get fixed. I wrote you a warning for driving without a license, but tell your husband to get some new bulbs for this tail light." In actuality, her husband knew about the light being out. He has just been too lazy, um, I mean, busy, to get it fixed.

So the whole thing ended well, and kudos to the Macon police department for hiring this officer who was very professional, very kind to my wife, and knew enough to blame me instead of her for the tail light situation.